Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Jesse Wells A-Z

Get Ready Kids it's Time for: JESSE A-Z



A: is for Asian: movies, food, girls, malls, countries, Jesse is into the Asians Big time!

B: is for Bush, no, not Jesse’s, Kate’s! Kate Bush is one of Jesse and his whole family’s favourite musicians!

C: Circa, Jesse and I both have the same pair of Circa shoes! Yay $39.99

D: is for dog, “are we gonna get a dog?”

E: Exposed! Sorry Jesse but I have to tell the truth: Jesse is not over in Japan teaching English, he is actually an Exotic dancer because those Japanese go crazy for hot young Canadian boys! “Lip my stocking”, Billy Murray ain’t got nothing on you kid!

F: if for Friend! Jesse has been an awesome friend for the past …. However many years!

G: Ghetto, yes it’s true folks, Jesse hails from one of Scarborough’s finest Ghetto’s “West Hill”

H: is for hypothermia, there was a point where every time Jesse would go in the water his lips would turn blue and we thought he was gonna die!

I: Internet, Jesse always finds the weirdest shit on the internet. I do not know how he does it but I’d have to say that my favourite was the retard pad video – “blue, white, blue, white”

J: is for Japan, where Jesse has been for the past 5 months, I miss you man!

K: Karaoke! The first time I ever heard Jesse’s beautiful voice is when he and Millie did a beautiful Karaoke rendition of “I can show you the world” at Melissa’s house. I will always be moved by this!

L: Line, Jesse hates when people bud in line, but then again who doesn’t?

M: is for McDonald’s, even in Japan it seems to be Jesses restaurant of choice!

N: is for New Zealand, Jesse and his family went on an exchange to New Zealand for a year

O: Oprah, all of Jesse’s best quotes come from this strong, beautiful black woman

P: is for Playa’ Jesse is my idol cause he’s a total babe magnet!

Q: Questionable, while some of Jesse’s actions are questionable, he always seems to have a good explanation!

R: is for Role Model, whoever said he was a role model was right!

S: is for station wagon, this was Jesse’s phat ride in high school, gotta love the black pepper smell, milk jugs full of water and 2 x 4 under the hood

T: is for Topaz, this was Jesse’s upgrade after the station wagon, smelled like gasoline and had McDonald’s wrappers and Tim Hortons coffee cups all over!

U: Unbelievably good looking, Jesse is a young JFK jr.

V: Volvo, Jesse used his mom’s Volvo to tow my van out of a snow bank one time! Thanks buddy!

W: is for Waterloo where Jesse began his undergrad studies (but finished at UofT)

X: Xena Princess warrior, Jesse and Dido share the same appreciation for this fine lady!

Y: Yodeling, I don’t think Jesse knows how to Yodel yet, but I think he should learn to before he comes back to Canada so that we’ll be able to find him at the airport!

Z: is for Zorro, Jesse has a secret crush on Antonio Banderas, I think it’s time you admitted this Jackman! (I mean Jesse!)

5 Comments:

At 1:19 PM, Anonymous Taylor said...

Aren't you supposed to be working!?

 
At 1:22 PM, Blogger Jackman said...

ew. totally unnecessary!

 
At 3:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

shut up! both of you

 
At 9:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Although I utterly despise Jesse Wells, I must give you credit for a well thought out, and accurate depiction of him...save for a few entries--P and U for example. P should have been for pathetic, as Jesse is a total lame ass when it comes to anything...Playa? He wouldn't even be drafted to play. JFK? I'd say he looks more like Ben Stiller...in something about Mary! He will die, by my Tomahawk.
Tomahawkingly,
Tatonka

 
At 9:31 PM, Blogger Jesse Wells said...

Tatonka, why are you hurling abuse at me? i didn't take your land! I don't even know you. Why don't you stop hiding behind that anonymous user comment and reveal yourself!

 

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